Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
