Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
