Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
