I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
