Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
