Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
