just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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