I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
