"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
