I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
