Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
