the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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