He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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