I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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