Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
