All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
