come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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