I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
