Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
what is it with giant penises always finding me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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