am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my poor anus
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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