Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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