All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
