tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
