I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
