I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
