Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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