i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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