He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
