I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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