A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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