glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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