I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
