i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
