Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
