oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
