you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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