shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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