Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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