sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
