ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
