he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
