no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
