Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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