my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
