I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We need to get me chipped asap
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
