her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
