They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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