Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
