My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
