he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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