I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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