New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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