and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
