she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
